Future Post 17

Good day beloved!

It's been 2 weeks since I wrote to you. Well a lot has happened. They diagnosed me to have a beta thalassemia trait AKA Vampire's disease. Ok... am not a vampire or a person of the occult or anything. Am no voodoo person don't worry. I just had this congenital (since birth) disease that well... no one ever diagnosed before that I had it in me  till now. That explains a lot of my memory loss, forgetfulness and moodswings. Also explains why I feel so tired all the time without coffee in my blood. I've missed you beloved. Sincerely do. When we're together, there may be times that I may be distant or distracted... but know this, am just trying to work things out on my own first. I don't want to worry you. The doc told me that they might transfuse blood or give me a weekly shots for this but exercise could also help me so am exercising like crazy now. Don't fret beloved, I'm fine. Id keep myself healthy so when the day comes that you and I would meet and be together... I'd be the one to take care of your. Till the time that I'd see our last sunrise and sunset together.

Smile for me beloved. I love you
Wherever you are.

Future Post 16

Good Morning Beloved!

An old flame of mine just Pm'ed me a moment ago. Her name is Mia. Ok, hold your horses, am saying this to you upfront (well, technically, not really upfront coz I haven't met you yet)Anyway, she asked me if I'm over my ex. That was random. After not hearing from her for 2 months she's asking me about my ex. Anyway it's been 3 months since me and my ex parted ways beloved. I wonder... Have you ever had a relationship before me? Why did  you part ways beloved? Am I your first? Whatever your answer is, well, the past is part of you, and I'll respect and love every moment and second that you have lived. ^^

I'm really tired today to be honest beloved. Am rushing and rushing today trying to cope with orders.
Funny thing was, everyplace I went to, someone sang to me this song today. So well, it may be a sign right? I'd sing it to you now.

How did you know

I remember so well
The day that you came into my life
You asked for my name
You had the most beautiful smile

My life started to change
I'd wake up each day feeling alright
With you right by my side
Makes me feel things will work out just fine

[Chorus:]
How did you know
I needed someone like you in my life
That there was an empty space in my heart
You came at the right time in my life

I'll never forget
How you brought the sun to shine in my life 
And took all the worries and fears that I had
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you comes my way
No words can express how much I love you

[Repeat Chorus]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wj6VgRi5RoA
I Love you. That's all that matters. Mia may be you... or you may be someone else. I'd just sit and wait. I know you'd know where to find me.

Future Post 15

Good Day Beloved!

It's been 2 weeks. Did you even miss me a little? Hihi :) I was out with friends for 2 weeks. Trying to figure out what path I must take. The signs was there. That I should travel to oz (that was was I think the signs were) However, well for now, I got to go back to my usual job and work.

I enjoyed my stay in SG. I actually thought that you were there with me however, well... I was wrong. She can't be you. Just can't...

Am really confused right now future. I really am. She has someone else. So I'd seek to fix myself first... for now.

*sigh*

Maybe I really am a Bakemono...

Btw I got new leaves for hachi. Was thinking of writing to you there when I can't type online. 

I missed talking to you daily beloved. My heart ached when I can't. It's been a long 2 weeks. I'd write to you often. I promise. 

Future Post 14

Good Evening Beloved

Hay, did you miss me? Hahaha ! :) It's been a few days since I logged on here and talked to you. Sorry about that my dear Future. I've been awake for the longest time, today I had a couple of naps and that was it. I wonder, what job do you have beloved? Does it keep you awake? What am sure of is whatever your job or career is I'd be there to cheer you on.

Ok, Am going to talk to you about my previous relationship. Now, hold on beloved, I just want to explain what went wrong. Smile a little ok? I love you. I won't go back to her. <3

Well, she was a very pleasing woman actually, headstrong and had dreams and ambitions. However, well she wanted to control where MY future would be. She wanted me to train with her in a hospital near her. Well, I had my own dreams, own aspirations. She wanted me to be there with her physically all the time. How could I chase my dream if I'm lock and chained down to her side. Right? I too was a dreamer however I'm not the type to control you beloved. I want us to grow together not hinder each other from pursuing what our souls long to do. It was like a cage. I was a lark held captive by a girl who was facinated by me and would not set me free. I became lonely and a shell of my former self.

Future, whatever your dreams are, whatever your soul yearns for, seeks to do, I will support you and I know you'd support me as well. The yearnings of the soul and heart are strong. An unfathomable force of nature making the clinically insane wise and the lame walk.

I guess that is what I yearn for beloved. :) Someone who'd support me but not chain me down. And that is you. I know You exist. I may not see you in this lifetime but I will wait for you in the next and the next till the universe would be tired of my waiting for you and hand you over to me.

I'm a patient person beloved. I will wait for you as I've waited for you eons ago.

Btw beloved, Am watching "Place Promised in our Early Days" ;) I wish I could watch it with you someday. It's anime.I know you'd understand my love for anime. :)

Anyway beloved, I got to burn the midnight oil (literally).
Goodnight beloved. May your dreams be happy always

Future day 12-13

Good Everning Future! <3

Your dear old partner slept sitting again now watching a movie called "Eat, Pray, Love". have you ever done that beloved? You know, soul search. Well, I'm on that path right now. I lost myself, let myself dissolve in my previous relationship. Now my soul rebounded. Lols, it echos in the depths of my being. Every cell of my body screams out the needs that were neglected.

Am a bit down tonight. Just tired I guess. Watching rock of ages to uplift my spirits. Am just tired. Don't worry beloved. In 10 days, Im sure I'd be refreshed. :)

Bye for now, I still got orders to fill love.

Future day 10-11

Morning Future!

Am so sorry beloved, I was so tired and wasn't able to talk to you for 2 days. In the future, this may happen again due to my work, but always remember you are always in my mind. <3

I'd just sing for you today beloved

"Somewhere Only We Know"

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go?
So why don't we go?

Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

Future Day 9

Morning Future!

It's :430 am. I can't go back to sleep. Am so tired and I can't go back to sleep. Funny how that is a physiological abnormality. >.< Anyway, I saw a friend of mine yesterday, her name is Pen. I barely talked to her before in college but well, I don't know but it's as if I just saw her yesterday. It's amazing how the mind works right? She told me that I never changed. Hmm, now that statement brings my curiosity up a notch. I wonder what is the "me" that other people see. I figured I'm a laid back guy who just wants to see the lighter side of things. However, that's not the case. She told me I was still as mysterious and as funny. Me? Mysterious? Hmm. I guess a person who likes their private life private is considered mysterious. The thing is Future, I don't want other people to meddle with my life decisions.

Will try to sleep. Hopefully I get to see you in my dreams. :) Nyt Future

Uh. Another goodmorning Future?

I slept like a log unfortunately you weren't in my dreams. My friend Laureen was and as usual I was still drinking in a bar, me pouring a drink and me and her talking. I should really get the dream catcher from an expo near our house. Might work. Who knows right? Ok ok, talking to Laureen is not the nightmare here beloved. Hahahha! I actually love talking to her. Never a dull moment. Anyway Future, the thing is am always saying "this is serious" with rain clouds on my head. So I guess am about to die? or something serious happened. I rarely have rainclouds on my head beloved. Hmm.

Anyway, I'd try to take a nap. My head aches. Seriously beloved... I'd try to sleep this one off.

Future Day 8

Good Day beloved!

I'm a bit busy today. I missed all of my stops. Lols. I slept in the trains and jeepneys again. Guess am more tired than I thought. Anyway, I had a perfect song today for you. :)

You Fill Up my Senses by John Denver

You fill up my senses like a night in a forest, 
Like the mountains in springtime, 
Like a walk in the rain, like a storm in the desert, 
Like a sleepy blue ocean. 
You fill up my senses, come fill me again. 

Come let me love you, let me give my life to you, 
Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms. 
Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you 
Come let me love you, come love me again. 

Let me give my life to you, 
Come let me love you, come love me again. 

You fill up my senses like a night in a forest, 
Like the mountains in springtime, 
Like a walk in the rain, like a storm in the desert, 
Like a sleepy blue ocean. 
You fill up my senses, come fill me again.

Bye for now beloved Future. I got to run again

Future Day 7

Morning Future!

Last night as I went to University of the East  hospital, It's a hospital 40 mins away from my house.  I saw an old gaming buddy of mine. I was quite amused how he first remembered my gaming handle than my real name. It's been about 7 years since I heard my old gaming handle. I was used to be called " Priestess of the Moon, Orion's Stargazer". Yes I know I know, its a mouthful. He shouted out, "Stargazer! May pasyente ka ba dito? (he asks if I have a patient there or am I a visiting consultant). I had flashbacks of my days in sweaty computer shops. They used to shout my name, like how the mob in a colesseum shouts for their prized gladiator. Well, that's another story beloved. Back to my old gaming handle...where the heck did I get that name? Well, I used to stargaze nightly ever since I was a kid. I still do it till now, like once a week? Anyway, I stargaze when there are questions bothering me. Pretty emo kid huh? Lols. I wonder, have you recently seen the stars? I like clear skies at night but sometimes, well like the sky our lives get a bit "cloudy". Even if life, or the skies get "cloudy, even if you can't see the stars, they are always there.  You're my star beloved. I know sometimes shit happens, I get lost, I fail, I know that well, there is the thought of you :) Hope.

I wish you Hope beloved. I'd see you. No worries. <3

I'd continue this post later beloved... talk to you again later

Future day 7

Good evening future!

:) Yep, your dear partner had a rough day today. But the thought of you in my future kept me from being down. Thanks. I'm so tired am seeing stars in the computer screen. (amazing! the looney toons cartoons were right! LOLS)

I dream of a hug whenever I get home before I drag myself to bed with you beside me. Your warmth would ease any physical pain. Your breath on my chin would calm my senses. How I wish I could time travel now.

I'd just sing for you before I sleep future. :)

Wish you were here  Incubus

I dig my toes into the sand.
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket.
I lean against the wind, pretend that i am weightless and in this moment i am happy.

[Chorus:]
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here.

I lay my head onto the sand.
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it.
I'm counting ufo's.
I signal them with my lighter
and in this moment i am happy, happy.

[Chorus]

The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in.
Maybe I should hold with care,but my hands are busy in the air.

[Chorus]

On a brighter side, Every pain that we feel, ever drop of sweat makes me feel ... alive. :)

Nyt beloved, I will still love you tomorrow even if I may seem deadtired to type today. 

Future Day 6

Dear Future,

Goodmorning beloved! Haha! How I wish I could say that to you everytime I wake up beside you. Well, that could wait right?

I met up with one of my best friends yesterday. Her name is Fely. Sure sure, we have disagreements and we do fight a lot but well, I still love her. And I know you'd love her too. She's a very fun loving girl, thoughtful and a little mischievous like me. I wonder, what is your best friend like future? Is your best friend a boy or a girl? Do you like talking to her/him? Well, whoever that special person or persons is in your life, I know I'd love them.

I have a habit of talking to random strangers. Haha! I know I know,  silly right? Well, sometimes people yearn for someone to talk to. You could see it in their eyes. Me and Ren know this. Ren by the way is the Bf of my friends Lia. I dunno. I usually get a positive response (thankfully). I wonder if you were one of those people who I've talked to randomly for the past few years...

Tata for now beloved. :) 

Future day 5

Dear Future,

I've got a busy day today. But you know I'd always make time for you. Slept sitting again. LOL. I am crazy!. I wonder what sleeping position you'd like. Do you like to sleep on your side?  on your back? Fetal? Well, one thing's for sure. As long as I'd sleep beside you even if you tumble in our bed,  I'd sleep soundly for sure.

I'd be going to Singapore soon. Why? well to see the sights, hear the sounds, see the lifestyle. Who knows, I might be able to see a glimpse of you there right beloved? Another thing is to bring Dyco my best friend home. I can't imagine her being alone in a plane all worried about the future while no one was beside her. I wonder, have you ever been jobless future? Have you ever been rejected? I'm sorry beloved if I wasn't there to support you if you were. Just know that whatever happens, I'd never reject you. You're always welcome here, I just wish we knew how you'd come home to me.

HAHA! It's too early to get emotional, right future? I know I know, It's too early and I haven't had coffee yet. Have you tasted coffee future? It's wonderful! The aroma, the flavor, the kick. Coffee makes you feel... alive. (ok, I sound like an addict here but trust me, it tastes so good) I wonder, what kind of drink you like in the morning? Coffee? Tea? Milk? I just know one thing, I'd try my best to prepare it ready and waiting for you each day.

It's time for my morning katas. Well exercise/practice. It's been a while since I did those again. I recently started again beloved. I used to box daily when I was in highschool. Do you have a sport that you love? A marathon runner, a swimmer? A gymnast or a soccer player? Hmm.. Well, whatever you fancy, I know I'd love to try it out. :)

tata for now

Future day 4

Dear Future,

How are you today? I wonder what country you'd be from. I know you'd like beaches and would love to live there. You'd be asian, or part asian at least with earthy eyes that glimmer in the darkest of night. That's what I know. You'd love sitting on the beach with me just talking for hours (or maybe a lake side view? Anything with the calming waters near our house is great)


I'm a little down again. I know I know, am not supposed to be depressed. Still had the same dream. I thought someone else died, I didn't know that in my dream I was dying. Lols. talk about a twist. I shouldn't be obesssing about death I know. But my subconscious was. BAD subconscious. Sit roll over. haha!

I wonder what language do you speak? Can you speak english? Can you speak my native tongue? I just know that even without words you'd know what I was saying.

Anyway I'd be going shopping with my confidant Laureen. You'd love her. She's nice and very kind. I know you'd get along well. Do you like shopping future? I wonder what kind of clothes you're wearing. Are you emo? Goth? preppy? Hmm. Well it doesnt matter. Even if we both have tattered clothes, as long as those eyes glimmer... am happy.

I wonder if you have tattoos beloved. I'd like to draw tattoos. Maybe I could draw for you if you're into that :) If not, well it's ok too. I love to draw. It's one of my passions. With tattoos or not, I just know that you'd be my muse :)


I want to go places with you. Here's a nice list of places we could go in my own country

http://insights.looloo.com/5-philippine-provinces-you-should-visit/

I wonder what profession you'd have. Would you be a photographer? An artist like me? A chef? A musician? A deskjob pencil pusher with an alternative life? ... A DOCTOR??! hahah. I wish I knew. I hope you'd be different from me tho. I want to gain more knowledge and insights. Whatever your job is future I know that you'd be passionate about it. I know you'd be always intellectually refreshing

Speaking of jobs, well future, I promised myself to just blog about you for a few minutes a day so, off to my regular job. You'd know what I do when we meet. I wished I was a time traveler tho so I could meet you now. <3

Future day 3

Hello Future

It's my dad's birthday tom future. Do you still have your dad? Is he still alive? What Job does he have? I wonder...

I look forward in meeting your whole family future. I also wish you could meet mine.
Mys sisters would love you.Though, they may be reluctant at first but well, they are good people and they would accept us eventually beloved.

I deleted the DA link here future. Because letters to you daily should be a personal thing right? I know you'd also like a private life like me and not show EVERYTHING to the world. We'd be both an enigma to people.

I really don't feel good today future,I don't have the appetite to eat. I've been having stomach cramps all day. I've been sick tor more than 2 years to tell you the truth. they ran tests on me over and over however, they haven't found what was wrong. Don't worry beloved, I'd find a way to know what's wrong with me, I still have to take care of you right? I can't do that if I've passed on earlier than the time we meet. Right? My cousin died when he was 33. I got 3 years left. LOLs. Kidding aside, I'd get a colonoscopy by October... I really hope it's not the big C.

I wonder, how are you doing right now? Are you in good shape? Is someone taking care of you? Are you taking care of yourself? I wish I could.

Tata for now ... I got to work. :)

Future 2

[To the future person in my life, if this is the first entry you seen, read Dear future 1 first. ]

My psyche friend told me to stay positive, That I should make a journal about  and to you.
I have terrible handwriting you know so I opted to type here instead. 

:)

I went to driving class today. It was nice. 
However, I really had to concentrate which is right and left. (I know, elementary beloved, however it really really is hard for me)

Hhmmm, I wonder what your name is. What do you want me to call you?
As I said, to many people, The sweetest word in any language is your own name. What do you want to be called? 
(Mine? hahah Kidding)
Whatever your name is, I know it would roll out of my tongue. hmm for now, I will call you future. :)

Me? my name? I know you'd think of a name for me. That would suit me well and you'd gleefully shout out in the crowd.  

Back to driving class. The teacher as amazed, not of my skills but in the calmness in me. 
I told him that life is to short to get angry at someone you don't even know :)
I won't let road rash ruin my day. I still have to improve myself before I can see you.

I'd drive carefully so we can still meet. I won't allow an accident prevent me from meeting you before our time.
So, Don't worry. Am fine. :)

You may have seen me, you may even be with me all this time and I haven't noticed.
I don't know. For now, we can be penpals. LOL. 

I know you like to travel Like me. A well traveled human. Well versed with the culture of the world. 
I love adventure so I know that you would too. May it be virtual or Real life. I know you're adventurous in your own way.
I can feel it in my guts. 
My feet are so worn out because I used to just hop on the MRT or bus and actually let myself get lost just for the fun of it. I'd just have enough cash for an emergency taxi to get back home. HAHA
Everything seems new in an unfamiliar place. 
Have you every done something as crazy as that? 
What are the places you've been to? I hope you take pictures. I'd share mine when I meet you. 

Tin was right, Its good to write to you. I feel energized. 
I came from a breakup you know. I know you've broken hearts too. (of course you did, If you weren't single, how could we be together right?)
I lost myself before, could you imagine? I became a shell of what I was 10 years ago.
Now, am starting to go back to the way I am. :) all because of the hope of you, and my support group. 

 I'd introduce them to you when you meet me. 
I know they'd love to meet you too.
Could get along with others just fine. 
My friends would love you and I do. 
We'd even go on group dates with them in the future for sure. 

I'll get to know your friends as well
Parang spice girls lang "if you wanna be my lover you got to get with my frieeends"
(yes, I secretly dance to spice girls) :)
I wonder how many people are in your "group"

Future, what talents do you have? What is your passion in life?
I wonder how our paths would meet and how our passions would connect us both
It doesn't matter to me if you can sing, or dance or act, or play an instrument, or draw like me. (having one of those is a bonus)
What matters is you are passionate in your vocation or at least passionate about something. 
That you have a drive (like the incubus song)
I'm highly attracted to passionate/driven people so I know you got your own drive <3

Journal-ling makes me think. :) I should journal more often right Future?
Anyway I got to go. I have 3 medical schools to go to. 

See ya future! Who knows, you may be one of the people who buy from me right? :)